Last Page

Peace is what is left on my last page.

For there is no space left in me for anything else,

No other intention than an offering of kindness,

Knowing and understanding the human condition

Aware of the rise and fall of chapters in our lives,

Thankful, ever thankful, for the chance to be at all.

Love is what is left on my last page.

Glowing and warm, of the most healing kind,

For there is enough malice in our world to destroy nations,

There is enough pettiness to overrule humanity,

So I will choose a different path than that,

I will choose love,

I will choose gentleness,

I will choose relief,

I will continue to heal through my grief,

So that what is left when you turn the page,

Will be nothing but light,

Will be nothing but peace.

Pieces

There are pieces of my being

That I will never be able to retrieve again.

Lost in the aftermath of grief and despair

Scattered across an empty, abandoned trail

Glowing for the last time, like embers in the dark

With one final flicker before their light runs out.

I would give anything to gather up the missing pieces,

Collecting them one-by-one in my arms,

But try as I might, I cannot reintegrate

What I did not willingly relinquish.

So I will let the pieces be as they are,

Lodged into memories, blazed onto trails,

Glowing with warmth for wanderers to share,

Parts of me that fervently loved, that deeply cared,

Parts of me that hoped for what could be

Parts of my heart that will always bleed

Pieces still clinging when they quietly know

That I cannot keep looking back, I must let go.

To Be Enchanted

This is the newest release by Sleeping at Last. If you’ve been following my blog for a time, you know this is my favorite musical artist.

I think we need reminders sometimes that as painful as life can be, as downtrodden as we feel, in the dark hours before we actually begin feel again, hope again…we were also meant to be happy.

Let it sink in.

We are meant to be enchanted.

Life is suffering. Life is injustice. Life is loss. Life is heavy. Life is lonely. Life is scary. Life is unpredictable.

But life is also joy. Life is hope. Life is getting up and trying again. Life is moving through the resistance. Life is remembering who we are. Life is love.

May you be enchanted, dear soul.

The Unleashing

In our growth, there is an unleashing

Unexpected, from the depths of our personal vaults

A release of emotions stored beneath years of forbearance

Only accessible when we are truly heard and seen.

We may have endured the unthinkable

And still maintained an air of quiet composure

Knowing that to speak of our layers of human experience

Would be to expose our hearts to the probability

Of callousness, dismissiveness, misapprehension,

Receiving judgment instead of gentle understanding

Increasing instead of unleashing our bottled-up pain.

So when you stumble upon a peaceful, safe place

Where your wounds are nurtured instead of aggravated

Where your stories are heard instead of rejected

Then, dear soul, you may experience the unleashing

But do not be afraid,

For when you can safely feel,

You can begin to slowly heal.

Music Renewed

For so long, there was no music left in me,

A score without the rise and fall of notes

Playing a melody of weighted silence

In a dusty theater devoid of audience.

Now I hear it, the faintest hint of music,

Like a breeze barely grazing the treetops

Inviting me, pulling me toward life again.

I had thought there would only be aching,

But I am learning that I can tend to wounds

While listening to the melody of hope,

Both the bitter and the sweet at the same time

Unleashing tears while climbing forward

Moving to the music renewed in me.

Fly With Me

Fly with me into the embrace of the sky,

Let us escape the heaviness of mundane living

Watching the world fade into pinpoints below us

Ascending to heights far above society’s glare.

Let me take your hand in mine,

And while we are floating through cloud-streaked skies

Let us listen softly to the inner pull to be transparent

Knowing, as we know, there is healing in the unleashing

Of deepest pains, of buried hopes, of hidden shame.

Let me see you as you are, dear soul,

Without the added layers of propriety and stoicism

Here where it is safe to be heard without judgment

Cared for without any prescribed conditions,

Up close to the stars where all is quiet and still

Let me be a safe haven

Let your breaking heart be filled.

I Will Move Through

I will move through the stagnant days

When it feels as if I am wandering without destination

Searching aimlessly for the next landmark

Exhausted, aching, but determined.

I will walk through the dark night of self-reflection

Even when the moon is hiding its familiar face in the sky

And I feel the reawakening of the past surround me

Afraid, but never deterred.

I will allow myself to feel what I have long repressed

Expecting waves of guilt, sorrow, and regret to crash

Knowing that the only way through is to accept

Surrendering to what is, at last.

Reminiscing

I am nothing but thankful

For your accompaniment along the miles

When my feet could not longer find footing

And my shoulders stooped beneath the weight

Of a thousand perceived failures and mistakes

When I could no longer take another step

I must have unconsciously sent out a divine flare

Because then you arrived, then you were there.

I did not mean to lean too heavily

On your compassionate arm, your good graces

To enjoy too richly the power of safe spaces

So easy to fall into the comfort of a beloved friend

Without seeing the reality of time and circumstance.

No matter the outcome, whatever may be,

I am so grateful that you walked with me

Familiar soul, beloved friend,

Whether this road is just beginning or at the end

May your path be bright, may your hope be strong

May you know there is a place where you belong

Forever grateful, forever dear

Safekeeping a healing light for you here.

Stardust

Only recently have I discovered

That I am made of stardust too,

Not just a haphazard concoction

Of leftover, dusty ingredients

Waiting to be selected on an abandoned shelf,

But a unique, good-hearted human being

Deserving and beloved as we all are

Instead of an anomaly on the outskirts

Looking in but never worthy of human experience.

Dear soul, I am not invisible

But I could not see my own reflection

I am not an unlovable being

But I could not love myself

I am not a waste of time or effort

But I could not invest in my wellbeing

It was never unworthiness

It was never a question of not enough

It was my own blindness to the good in me

Leaning too heavily on the external to validate

What I should have seen all along:

That I am made of stardust too.