When I step back into the past,
I step back into a fear that paralyzed
The never-ending search for one drop of peace
As my confused mind believed each condemning word
Felt the loneliness produced in the presence of abuse
Where there was no concept of equivalence
No healing balm for the sharp sting
Of manipulation disguised as love.
I no longer wish to look back
Dear soul, this is not an easy feat
To tame the past from seeping into the present,
But I must try, I must try.
Here and now in the present,
There is light beginning to form on the horizon
Breathing deeply for the first time in a lifetime
Pain resurfacing but not always all-consuming
Joy in small pockets, growing more abundant
In simple, profound ways beyond explanation
Support in the darkness, smiles after tears,
Peace in my heart at last
Hope in better years.