Past and Present

When I step back into the past,

I step back into a fear that paralyzed

The never-ending search for one drop of peace

As my confused mind believed each condemning word

Felt the loneliness produced in the presence of abuse

Where there was no concept of equivalence

No healing balm for the sharp sting

Of manipulation disguised as love.

I no longer wish to look back

Dear soul, this is not an easy feat

To tame the past from seeping into the present,

But I must try, I must try.

Here and now in the present,

There is light beginning to form on the horizon

Breathing deeply for the first time in a lifetime

Pain resurfacing but not always all-consuming

Joy in small pockets, growing more abundant

In simple, profound ways beyond explanation

Support in the darkness, smiles after tears,

Peace in my heart at last

Hope in better years.