Givers

When we are givers, giving sustains us

Providing oxygen through the fractured chambers of our hearts

Offering what we need most for ourselves, to others

Loving others to better understand how to love ourselves.

Could it be an unconscious form of self-deprivation?

An act of self-punishment for our own lack?

At its root, dear soul, to give fully is a form of grace

In which we step outside of the equation of reciprocity

Without selfishness, without expectation, only compassion

And through sustaining others we sustain ourselves.

Sometimes giving is beautiful, and sometimes it is lonely,

Feeling at times like our only viable contribution to the world,

A way of righting the wrongs from self-absorbed days long past

Adding purpose to our days, providing meaning to our pain,

Without needing reciprocation, without asking for gain.

At times it feels like an altruistic story without a happy ending,

For even the givers begin to insidiously erode within

Only realizing at the eleventh hour when it’s far too late

That they are an empty shell where a whole person used to be

Evidence that giving too much becomes a catastrophe.