For so long, I lurked on the outside of human experience
Observing but never stepping inside, a bystander looking in
So afraid the good would never last, I could not welcome its light
Without the fear of losing joy before it even materialized.
Now, after a slow recovery from the depths of self-deprivation,
Whether an act of rebellion or a desperate race with time,
My gaze is lingering on the magnificence of late summer evenings
When the sun drenches the trees with golden, encompassing light
Autumn so close, I can sense it in the air in cooler undertones
Apples speckled through the orchards where I love to wander
Sunflowers bobbing along a background of mountains and blue sky,
And I feel it, in small waves, this awakening of heart and soul
A beckoning call to enjoy the moments so fleeting, so small,
Before they fade into melancholy over what could have been.