Chapters

There are chapters of life that feel like summer evenings

Some that linger like the never-ending chill of winter

Others that transition us like autumn to the next phase

Whirlwind chapters that spring upon us in fleeting bursts,

All offering new insights, reinforcing the old

Some forever imprinted onto the chambers of our hearts

Others so painful they creep upon us from banished places.

Perhaps we all wish we could stay on the peaceful page

But life beckons us to keep moving, even in our resistance,

Throwing at us both summers and winters without rhyme

Teaching us by force to adapt, learn, evolve to a higher level

So that we can weather through the upheaval of change

To immerse ourselves in the joy of dreamy summers.

Meaning

I am an avid seeker of meaning

Not in the happenstance of sudden miracles

Not in the emotional whirlwind of wishful thinking

But in real, tangible elements that make up our purpose,

In the light that still shines in shadowy places

In the connections between each chapter of life

When we begin to understand the reasons for our pain

As well our reasons to deserve the good that befalls us.

I think I will be searching forever for meaning,

Because it sustains my skeptical soul

Gives layered depth to my experiences

Fills my weathered heart with gratitude

For learning, for healing, for growth.

Little Grounded Stars

We are just little grounded stars

On a spinning globe in an expansive galaxy

And our hours here are limited, just a handful of heartbeats

To make this life matter.

What if we run out of time, dear soul,

To breathe in the peaceful, summer evenings when everything is still?

What if we have spent so long believing we were undeserving,

That we’ve forgotten we are stars?

What We Need Most

When I have stood at the basest level of the deepest abyss,

Holding my heart in my hands as it dripped from breaking,

I did not need platitudes, I did not need recited scripts

I needed someone to climb down into the abyss with me.

No words can cauterize our internal wounding,

No advice effectively injects us with the willpower to climb

But a shoulder to lean on, the caring arms of a friend

Means the world when those jagged walls close in.

We do not need advice on how to put ourselves back together,

We need the powerfully gentle, illuminating presence of love

To know we are not alone in our darkest of suffering

That each crashing wave of hopelessness begins to recede

When compassion finds a way to intercede.

Lost

I think I have been lost for a long time,

Still anchored, but unsettlingly empty

As if the contents of my inner world

Have been locked away for safekeeping

And I am wandering endlessly in circles

Trying to find the missing key.

Maybe I am searching in the wrong places

For tiny bursts of illuminated understanding

To fill in the countless gaps left behind

By the certain uncertainty of change.

I think I am looking for objective clues

When what I want the most is peace,

Hoping I will uncover the mystery of life

When all that I need is a warm embrace,

Digging up my past of mistakes and shame

To justify why I deny my tender heart

Of what would make it sing.

Take this Flame

The Therapy of Words

(Reposting from way back, stay safe, dear souls.)

I have a little light left in me

Stored up through seasons past,

A tiny flame still burning

Ever resilient, ever steadfast

And I see that you are aching

From the emptiness in your eyes

Caving in to inner deception

Lending your ear to self-made lies

That you are less than what you deserve

And too much for others to bear

That on this lonely, winding road

There are none who deeply care.

I am carrying this little light

Peering straight into your soul

Gladly offering up a bit of warmth

To make your empty heart whole.

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Not Until My Last Breath

Some would fester in bitterness,

And dear soul, in a different era I would,

But not now, not now.

Now I am grateful for each solitary healing burst

Every breath of relief, every heartfelt beat

Whatever the outcome around the bend,

It is not a waste on my road of life.

Some would grow their roots in resentment

And dear soul, in another chapter I would,

But not now, not now.

There is no telling how long a journey will last

What we will learn as we transition one step to the next

So rather than protest the inevitability of change

I choose to reverence the gift of experience.

Some would understandably lose hope

And dear soul, I still do sometimes, in the deepest dark,

But not now, not as much.

If I sacrifice hope in an already hopeless world,

I give up all of my reasons to keep moving,

And I cannot stop moving

Not now, not ever,

Not until my last breath.

One Step

When a hundred miles stand in the way

Of where I am and who I want to be,

I cannot leap the distance all at once,

But I can take one initial step.

When I must traverse a swamp of broken dreams

Before I arrive at a destination of healing,

I cannot shortcut my way through the pain,

But I can take one excruciating step.

When I must climb up the mountain of resistance

To reach a place of hope on the horizon,

I cannot transport myself to the top,

But I can take one elevating step.

When my heart is sinking in life’s quicksand

And the only way out is to reach for a hand

I cannot force myself to accept help,

But I can take one step,

Reluctantly

Painfully

Unwittingly

Tearfully

Decisively

Bravely.

Therapy Funnies Part II

I have a serious job. I ADORE my job. Sometimes, though, it’s humorous and that can also help diffuse the heaviness of the more serious subjects we discuss in sessions. As much as I love to meet people in their deeper feelings, I also love to laugh. It’s a weird duality in my oddly conflicted brain. 🙂

For the record, I’m totally at home in The Pit of Despair, doesn’t scare me at all. ❤

Let it Be Love

There is already an excess of discord

On this spinning globe we call our home,

I have contributed my fair share of chaos

So if I offer anything, let it be peace.

There are already tears cascading like raindrops

Across the ruins of destitute landscapes,

If I have caused one soul pain, it is one too many

So if I must give anything, let it be hope.

There are already hateful words etched on walls

In a world diseased by power and control

I have allowed anger to win over softness

So if I must convey anything, let it be kindness.

There is already a looming shroud of loneliness

Hovering over the isolated roads we all wander

I have sacrificed joy for the familiarity of despair

So if I must leave anything, let it be love.